A Path Remembered

This is short excerpt from a recently written short story. I will not be posting the full story as I plan to enter it into the BBC short story competition in March. First foray into the thriller genre lets see how this goes…

“He stood and walked away from her and the car whilst talking. She didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to run back to the car and drive as quick as possible away. There was something not quite right about this. Something that just didn’t feel right. The sixth sense that most people have when they feel themselves in a situation that they should quickly get out of. A dark alley that doesn’t feel empty. A deserted corner shop when a tall man a heavy coat walks in. A broken down car on the side of the road with a strange man standing by it. She turned to go back to her car when he called back to her. “Thank you” he was off the phone “Again. For stopping. I can’t thank you enough for your help” She smiled. “Not a problem. Is everything OK now?” she asked. He nodded “Yes. Someone will be coming for me soon” “Great. I better be off now. Got dinner with the in-laws waiting” she turned then felt his hand on her arm. It was like electricity. Like each of his fingers were live wires. She look down at his hand and then back to his face. He was smiling now. Something about it was frightening. She had preferred the tears.

“Would you wait with me?” he asked. “Until they arrive” he still had her arm. “I really should be getting back” she said trying to smile. “It won’t be too long” he responded. She nodded. “OK.” He took his hand away and she rubbed where it had been. They stood in silence for a while. He stared at her. Like he was sizing her up. Something had changed during that phone call. It was as if the man she had met to begin with. The sad timid man that she had stopped for had been replaced by this predatory creature that stood in front of her. Time passed and they said nothing to each other.”

 

Script Frenzy

ACT I

Scene 1

There is a dark stage. A bed with an undressed dirty mattress is in the middle. There is empty bottles around the mattress. There is a chest of drawers on stage right. ‘Smack My Bitch Up (original mix) begins to play. From stage right a woman enters. She is confident and predatory. She wears provocative clothing and there is a tattoo on her arm. From stage left a young boy enters. He is about 19. They stand opposite for a moment. The woman is sexy, her legs are slightly open and she is smiling. The boy is weary. The musical changes and they run at each other. They embrace and begin to kiss passionately. The woman is in charge. She holds his head and takes control. She pushes him back roughly and he falls to the floor. He looks up at her.

Boy:

I don’t even know your name

Eva: laughing

Shut up.

She walks to the mattress and lays with her legs slightly apart and smiles.

Eva:

Well then?

 

Boy gets up an walks to her cautiously. He puts his hand out and touched her knee.

Boy:

This isn’t right

EVA:

That’s why I do it.

She pulls him on top of her and then turns him so that she is on top of him. The lights strobe and she rides him. A demon in black and yellow crawls out from under the bed and watches.The music plays loudly and the lights go out.

Scene 2

There is a stark clinical light on the bed. Eva wakes up suddenly and looks around. Her demeanor is changed she is uneasy, afraid and self conscious. She pulls the her dress down and looks at the boy. She is horrified. She tries to leave the bed quietly.

boy:

Leaving so soon?

EVA:

Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.

Boy: puts his hand on her inner thigh

You don’t have to go too soon. I don’t have lectures til ten.

Eva: disgusted, she removes his hand

How old are you?

BOY:

I’ve already told you that. Why does it matter?

EVA:

You look like my son.

BOY:

I thought that’s why you liked me?

Eva get up to leave the boy pulls he arm back. She squeals and runs for the door. He is left on his own. Lights fade.

Just Another Day at the Office

 

“I cleared my throat behind him. “Sorry to disturb you while your eating…” He lifted hi head to look at me, thick viscous liquid dripped down his chin and he drew back his top lip and snarled at me. Any normal, sane person would have legged it by now. Not me, I’d seen my share of vampires and this child didn’t even make me flinch. I think I sighed, that admittance of apathy seemed to make him take a proper look at me. I don’t know what it was that made him bolt. Maybe it was the stakes strapped to my belt or the bow at my back. Or ,maybe new vamps just get a mug shot with the words crazy bitch stamped across it. Either way he ran. When vamps start running that usually my que to start blindly firing in their direction. Most vampires have super speed so me chasing is a waste of energy but like I said, this guy was new. So I pursued.

 

He’d just rounded the corner of the underpath and was up the stairs toWaterloo. Not after all this, not now I couldn’t let him get on a train.Waterloostation at midnight is pretty quiet on a week day, luckily for me it was Saturday. I dodged crowds of people waiting for the last train. I actually knocked an old man over with no time to apologise I got a few choice words shouted at my back. Where was he? I’d lost him. Shit. I needed height I needed to see over these people. I scanned the crowd for a bench, a trolley anything with enough height to give me a shot. There was an information stand in the middle of the station. I ran over to it and managed somewhat ungracefully to hoist myself on top. I looked around my eyes darting to every face, every back of head, everyone else.

 

There the bastard was. He was heading for the Jubilee Line. I had a clear shot. I pulled my bow out of its sheaf and readied an arrow. I took aim. The whole world slowed. I could hear my heart in my ears and I breathed slowly. I cleared my mind, everyone else disappeared. I aimed for his heart through his back. I breathed again trusting in my training, trusting in myself, trusting in my goal. I released the arrow. It soared through the crowd and sunk home into the back of his cape. He turned, stunned, I could see the whites of his eyes. His mouth was open but no noise came out. He was clutching his chest. The arrow head protruding neatly out of hid chest. Jackpot. Then from the outside of the puncture wound his skin and clothing began to crinkle and curl, smoke billowed out in thin grey ribbons. Then just as quickly as it had started it spread licking all over his body engulfing him until a man of fire stood in his place. Then the entire special of it all imploded. Sucked into oblivion as if he never existed. All vamps go their own way but the end results is the same. They’re very considerate that way. No body. No evidence makes my life easier. ”

 

Copywright Karla Mouncey-Jaggers

Any Editors Out There?

I am finding the editing process so painfully boring!! I find myself dreading sitting down and going through the gramma and sentence structure. There are much more exciting ideas and stories out there. I have decided I would like to find an Editor. Someone I can pay to go over all the niggaly bits that I hate.

Can anyone recommend someone affordable? I would much rather go from someones recommendation than a random google search.

Paul

“I approached Paul’s studio and knocked on the door with a sign that read replica weapons by appointment only. He opened it as if he he’d been waiting for me on the other side.

“Hi Paul” I greeted him walking inside

“Hello” he said immediately closing the door behind me. He never shook my hand or looked me in the eye.

His studio was more a workshop. It was a small room no wider that a train carriage but it must hve held thousands of projects.  At twenty two but he had been making replica weapons for ten years. I’d met him in an obscure forum for vampire conspiracy theorists  I rarely participated in blogs but I always kept my eyes open for anyone with genuine insight or skill. He had posted a thread about the similarities of London’s vampires to George Orwell’s 1984. Very intelligent boy but with the social skills of a pencil. His user name had a link to his website and two years on he was still my weapons man.

I handed Paul my broken bow and he took it tutting and focusing on the bow never on my face. Paul hadn’t filled out yet he still looked like a sixteen year old. He was taller than me but that wasn’t hard. His hair looked brushed and he wore Harry Potter style glasses. He always wore a logo t-shirt today it said Mass Effect what ever that was. He handed me a new bow which was an exact copy of my broken one. He never added new specs unless I asked for them and even then he had to copy a design. I think my bow was originally a replica of Paris’s bow fromTroy. He was brilliant at replicas but as far as I knew had never created anything original.

 

“You made this fast” I commented

“It was time” he said whilst examining the broken bow under a magnifying glass the size of diner plate.

“Time?”  I questioned

“Usually a bow only lasts four months with you, its been three months and twenty-five days” I laughed

“So you already had it made?”

“I know your patterns Liv” he flicked his eyes to me

“Thank you Paul” I genuinely meant that, I sat down on his sofa which seemed unused. My arm was beginning to throb and my neck ached.

“Your bleeding” he said and I looked at my hand where I’d touched my neck there was a dot of blood on it.

 

“Shit. Paul do you have a first aid kit?” he moved quickly under his desk and returned with a green box that was untouched, shop brought ready made. “Did your Mum make you buy this?”

“Yes” he smiled. I found a square of gauze with sticky on the sides and removed it from the box. I reached up and removed the bandage from my neck, the air hit the wound and I took a sharp intake of breath. Paul was suddenly sitting on the couch next to me. He was staring at the wound intently.

“You ok Paul?” I asked

“Yes” he responded eyes not leaving my neck.

“Why are you staring?” I asked being more direct with him

“Am I being rude?” he asked “I’ve never seen a real wound before, not in real life”

I understood, he played games of war for hours and watched filmic blood and guts everyday but he’d never come close to the reality of it. “How did it happen?” he asked.

“Animal bite” my automatic response, it was really starting to sting so I covered it with the gauze and stood up. Paul stood with me “Thanks for this” I motioned to the bow

“No problem” he went back to his desk as I let myself out there was something off about Paul and I hoped it wasn’t as malevolent as that last encounter had felt.”

 

Book One First Draft

So I finished typing up my first draft of book 1, it feels amazing to have it finished. I have let my husband and family go through it with a red pen and I am gradually getting feedback. One of the main points is that there isn’t enough of it, I also seem to have been indecisive about some of Olivia’s emotion and written some sections twice from different emotions. It still amazes me that my writing brain works faster than my conscious one. I wrote a section previously where I had planned for a specific character to call Olivia. The phone rang and when she picked the phone up it was someone completely different. I am going to take a break from book 1whilst I complete book 2 for NaNoWriMo, I have a lot of ideas and a lot of plot points I am going to expand on.

 

 

Watch this space for some extracts from Olivia Everett book 2!!

 

As a first time NaNo I would love any advice and pep talks from any NaNo veterans, I would also like to go to as many write ins as possible can anyone recommend any near Richmond?

The Darkness Within

WARNING : CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND TORTURE

“Inside there was a small male vampire, he looked about fifteen but he could have been fifteen hundred. He looked at me with eyes wide and calculating and then he was going for the window. I shot him in the shoulder and pinned him to the wall, to my satisfaction he cried out. I hadn’t missed, I wanted him alive, for now.  I fired again hitting him in the other shoulder, he was stuck there with both shoulders raised slighty like he was on a coat hanger. He flailed violently kicking his legs like an injured insect trying to crawl away. His mouth, neck and chest were covered in dried brown blood. I fired again into each leg and he jerked with both shots and then was still. Only his eyes moved following me as I moved towards him. “Bitch” he spat at me.

I calmed myself, pushed the anger and sickness down and buried it away. There would be time to deal with it later. Catch the killers. Kill the vampires. Stop this ever happening again. I’d cry later. I was in front of him now and his eyes were fixed on mine, if looks could kill. I stared into his eyes and let the hatred I felt for him fill my pupils. I reached for my phone and set it to record then I balanced it on the desk making sure it caught the vampire on film. He was eyeing the camera worriedly as he began to struggle again, pushing at the arrows and causing fresh blood to pour to the floor it was borrowed children’s blood.

 I pulled a syringe of garlic out of my belt and stabbed him in the neck with it. He flinched and then his head lolled forward like a drunk. I picked up a paper weight from the desk it was made of a heavy polished wood, maybe mahogany. I hit him across the face with it. Using my whole body to get maximum impact I pulled my arm back and hit him again. His head jerked with the force of it and he spat blood to the floor.

“Where is Vane?” I asked my voice didn’t sound how I felt, it came out low and controlled.

“Who?” he slurred. I hit him again.

“Where is Vane?” I repeated.

“Fuck you” he spat at me his blood flecked around his mouth. I dropped the paperweight and took a stake from my belt and for the first time he looked frightened. I stabbed him in the hand.

“Where is Vane?” My voice had risen in pitch and he screamed into my face like a pig. He didn’t respond this time, he looked down and took a long deep breath and then he fixed my with determined eyes and whispered.

“I’m more afraid of him than you” I smiled, slow and meaningful, I felt my body grow cold like stone. I took two stakes I stuck one in his other hand and the other in his stomach, I crucified the fucker.

“Tower Hill” he screamed through gritted teeth.

“How many vampires does he have?”

“About a hundred” he was crying, thick red tears, he’d cracked like an egg.

“Where in Tower Hill?” I asked

“Just fucking kill me” he shouted at me “I’m dead anyway”

“Where?” I shouted back at him twisting the stake in his stomach.

 He spat blood at me and I had a flash back, my spit on Mal’s  face and his tongue darting to lick it off it, was another real life memory and I could feel my neck aching. I turned away from the vampire and regained my breath whilst I leaned on the desk. What was I doing? I was torturing someone, had I become the villain? The de-human? This was wrong but I needed to find Vane because I had to stop this. I turned back to the vampire who was staring at me and breathing fast threw his nose. I had an idea. I went close to him almost nose to nose. I couldn’t tell he was weak , he looked stoned from the garlic and the blood loss. 

“What is the address?” I said slowly and he tried to shake his head. I leant to the side exposing Mal’s bite to him and he made a small whimper, I scratched the bite and took a sharp intake of breath as the wound opened and I was bleeding. I knew he would be famished because of the blood pouring out of him, “What is the address?” I whispered, my voice was shaking I was scared but I was determined. I could feel a drop of blood snake its way down my neck as I looked into his eyes to see his pupils dilate. He was staring at my neck and his mouth was half parted in an almost coital expression. “Address?” I moved away from him and he moaned like a kicked puppy and he began to struggle against the stakes. I moved closer again and he whispered “He’s under the tower” 

I felt elated but I needed to find Vane because I had to stop this. I turned back to the vampire who was staring at me and breathing fast threw his nose.  I had to get to Ben, to get back up and then get to Vane before morning. I went to leave lost in my thoughts I’d forgotten the vampire who growled at me. I turned back and pulled the stake out of his stomach and pushed it deep into his heart. Blood fountained our over my hand and arm then he screamed the sound of a dying man. I picked up my phone and walked out of the room to the sounds of a vampire dying in agony. It was a comforting sound as I wound my way threw the rows and rows of dead children.”

Vane, Vampire With a Grudge

““You are aware that I am Arch vampire of London yes?” I nodded again “ This means that all the vampire community owe allegiance to me and those with allegiance are required to live only on donated blood or leave London” I nodded for a third time “ you are also aware that you kill at least two vampires a night who are feeding on unwilling victims”

“I know all this Ben put the puzzle together” I snapped

“Tell me Liv. If your body count is racking up and my vampires aren’t hunting who are you dusting every evening?” The puzzle clicked and it showed on my face “Yes Livy we have been fighting a revolt for the last three hundred years” I shook off my curiosity

“I don’t really care about you vampire politics Ben what does this have to do with what happened tonight?” he was visually pissed at me and the jaw muscle was jumping again.

“I do not have time to explain to a child” he spat at me.

“Then do it fast!” I retorted.

What he said next was incredibly fast and my ears worked overtime to make sense of it.

“When a vampire is made their first drink is directly related to their strength in the first few years. Virgin’s blood is the strongest and the more innocent the more potent” It dawned on me what he was getting at and what Trista had recalled in her mimicked voice “The blood will make you stronger”

“Someone is killing kids” I said more to myself that to him

“It would appear so” Ben straightened it was clear that this bothered him

“Who is this bastard?”

“His name is Vane. He is ruthless and inconspicuous only a few of us have ever seen him in the flesh” His lips curled into a grimace as he said the name like he’s tasted something bad. “We know very little about him except his want for power is all consuming. It is said that he killed his own maker because he couldn’t stand someone having control over him” Ben wasn’t looking at me anymore he was somewhere else, somewhere dark with Vane. It was severely unnerving to see him like this. Vane sounded like the thing that goes bump in the night.

He suddenly snapped back from his revere and fixed his eyes on me. “That is all I can tell you.” he moved closer “Unless you have had a change of heart and want to join our little army?” he smiled full and genuine I went to step back

“Thanks for the info Ben I like to be informed” I was babbling because he was too close to me. His hand was suddenly cupping my face and his thumb caressed my cheek and his fingers deep in my hair. I lost my words and my heart was in my mouth. I could feel all the blood rushing to my face making me blush. He was so near to me that he whispered barely audible “I wait for the day you will come running into my arms Olivia” and then he was gone. The door moved slightly and I knew he had gone back into the office. I stood for a moment regaining my composure. My breath was hurried like I’d just ran up a flight of stairs and my heart was racing. Fuck why did he have to smell so good shouldn’t he smell of dead things?” “

Three Characters, Lots of Questions

I got this great character exercise from

http://maasmith7.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/three-character-meme/

Pick 3 characters, and have them answer the following questions accordingly. (They may be original characters or not):
1. Olivia Everett
2.Benidict
3. Anthony Bray

1. Number one, what was your childhood like? My childhood felt like I was counting the minutes until I could move out. Nothing bad but nothing good

2. Character number three, if you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? (It can be something regarding your personal history, or something that is in the history books.)
Nothing, I don’t live with regret

3. Number two, would you rather be immortal and eternally miserable, or live a mortal, blissfully peaceful life?
I am an immortal with a blissfully interesting life, an interesting question but rather irrelevant to me.

4. Say, character number three, how much do you weigh?

12st 3

5. Have you ever loved and lost, number one? I’ll bet it was your fault, wasn’t it? Tsk tsk…

How wonderfully astute you are, next question?

6. Oh, no character two! You’ve just strolled into a department store to admire the lovely washing machines when a guy with a nylon stocking over his head runs in and holds the whole store at gunpoint! How will you save the day? (If you are a coward and do not wish to save the day, what do you do upon Stocking Head’s arrival?)
I would watch the scene play out and only act if it became boring

7. Number Three, tell your best “Yo Momma” joke.
*chuckles* I’ve only ever heard one that made me laugh. Yo Momma is so dumb she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death

8. Who is the one person you cannot live without, character number one? Why? (Please don’t say Oprah, please don’t say Oprah…)
That’s a bit personal, I prefer to depend on myself, if I let myself down I have someone to punish. God that’s dire isn’t it. Can I ask the audience?

9. Hey, number two, tell me one of your deepest, darkest secrets. To make you feel better, I’ll tell one of mine: I don’t have any deep, dark secrets.

I have never killed anyone innocent

10. All characters: What kind of music do you listen to? Do you play any instruments? If so, which ones? (Yes…the kazoo counts. Your nose, however, does not.)

Olivia: anything I can dance too and no
Ben: I am a big fan of anything Heavy Metal, I particularly enjoy Iron Maiden. I sing and play the piano. I am fairly sure I could pick anything up quickly.
Anthony: I like disco

11. What is the most annoying thing in the world, character one?
Drunk people on public transport

12. Finish the statement, number three: Art is…subjective

13. Finish the statement, number two: People are…fascinating

14. Finish the statement, number one: Imagination…is a luxury

15. All characters: Out of the three of you, who is the most outgoing? Reserved? Humorous? Stinky?

Ant: Stinky
Benidict: Humourous
Olivia: I guess i’m stuck, what happened to ladies first?

16. Quick, Number three! Write a poem!
When magick comes you will stop, you will listen and you will be in awe of yourself.

17. What is your favorite word, number one? Fuck

18. Character number three, what is one weird thing that you can do? (i.e. wiggle your ears, fold your tongue, play ‘amazing grace’ with your armpit…)
I can always tell when someone is lying, I’m good at reading faces

19. Speak any other languages, Number Two? Many

20. What is your nationality, character number one? English

21. Pick, number two: asparagus or canned peas? Please elaborate.

Neither, I prefer my food more alive

22. What scares you the most, character three?
Dying alone

23. All characters: What is one thing you would like the world to know about you?

Olivia: absolutely nothing
Ben: my pub is always open, first drink on me
Anthony: I’m a closet Doctor Who fan! Wow that’s a weight off!